Say hello to the rug's topography..

"It's simple, list 10 things you want, they can be serious, funny, whatever, but 10 things that you either want right now, or at some point in your life. Then choose 5 people from your list and "tag" them... or whatever you want to call it."

1. To be in the top 10 at nationals.
2. To be successful in everything that I do.
3. To get my A.
4. To get into a good college.
5. To always be happy.
6. To never lose sight of my dreams.
7. To always stick to my guns.
8. To inspire, teach, and help other people.
9. To marry rich.
10. To be known.

I am beginning to waver; I am beginning to feel weary in all the things that I do.

I think I have a bruised rib. It kind of hurts. Im not going to lie. But the clinic with Kevin went really well. She said that I have a lot of good qualities about my jumping. All I need to work on really is relaxing. But... I already knew that. Im glad that thats all I really need to fix right now... she likes my lower leg. I was pleased.

Im definitely going to be ready by the fall for my C3. 

eh.

not happy.

my night is ruined.

Im bored as shit. I have nothing to do. But honestly Im getting sick of all these dance parties. Theyre getting old. Its like. Get some creativity in your mind or something because seriously... yeah your sweet sixteen is a big deal but you dont have to do what everyone else is doing. Daves was the shit though. Anyway. Thats why Im doing something totally different. :) Anddd.. boys can spend the night. Hahaha yayyy. So yeah. This friday night is Nupur's I think? I dunno. Its at the Fountains. Its a nice place. Ive been there before. Im excited, although Im not sure how much dancing Ill be doing. Last time.. eh... at Daves a pretty much couldnt walk afterwards for three days straight. It was four before I completely recovered. Im not going to lie. It was the saddest thing ever. I was like 'dayum Im retarded.'

Im not even kidding. It was really pathetic.

Yeah ok so the plan is this -
Im gonna have a big outdoor bbq fiesta at mi casa. The pool should be open by then although it will probably be cold. And then we are gonna play football/ultimate frisbee/croquet/volleyball/badminton + the best game ever: MANHUNT. I live on 5 acres of property so yeah. Fuck yeah bitches. Thennnn once thats over Im gonna have my close friends stay the night and we are gonna camp outside with a little fire. :D I think thatll be pretty sweet. Oh yeah and Im not inviting "everyone" I know just cuz I know them. If Im inviting someone its because I know them and I like them.

So yeah none of this shit where its like "omfg I have to invite every fucking person I know!" because Im not going to. So if youre reading this and I dont like you... or we arent good friends... you probably arent going to be invited. :) YAY. Yeah so... Ive got a list of people in mind but I really dont quite know "who all" yet cuz Im not that far into the planning process. But Im probably gonna need someone/someones to come over that day early and help me set up and stuff. Its not fun doing that kind of shit alone. ;x Sooo yeahhhhh... that about covers it. Im pumped. But its in April... doh.

OH WELL IM HELLA EXCITED ANYWAY!

peace out niggas

I lost my permit.

Somewhere in my house.

drove on the bypass today. it was fun. i drove home from the barn. it was fun. haha. yeah i dunno. umm.. im pretty bored at the moment. dont really have anything to do, but i should be studying for the government test tomorrow. at 9:30 im getting off the computer and im going to go study like i should. umm yeah.

me and alix arent having a party anymore. but im having one. i need to think of something though... and if you agree with me on this one: im sick of dance parties then HOLLA BACK. but dave's was amazing. so. yeah. dont need to worry about that one dalvarado. andddd...

i crashed the barn truck into a pole and mrs. kirby was pissed. and i was like oh shit. it wasnt good. yeah and i rode today. angel is sick. and we dont know whats wrong. im worried. seriously... i dont know whats going to happen and im scared out of my mind. we cant lose her. not now.

why do bad things happen to good people?

if anyone knows, do tell me, cuz i would really like to know.

and ps: im gonna work the magic.

I told josh that I would make him cookies for his birthday. So what am I going to do in a few hours? Im gonna make that bitch a fresh batch of cookies. :) I love himmmm. Alot. And I love my friends alot too. Actually I think that I love my friends more than I love josh. Even though josh counts as a friend...? hahaha. I don't know how that goes. Im ranting now, so Ill just move right along.

I went to church today and fell asleep like i always do. Church is boring. but we got a free seashell. it was like a smurf seashell, it was kind of cool.... shut up i know i'm a dork. :( we're taking down the christmas tree and whatnot. Its not that interesting. Ive been working for a couple hours and Im tired of it so I stopped. :( Oh well. Im not going to worry about it. Im sick of doing it and I really just want to take a nap. To be perfectly honest. Im going to go make cupcakes for Josh too even though he doesnt like them. I didnt give him a spinner on monday cuz he said I jumped out of the bushes. Then he said he would never talk to me again and I was like :(( at first because I didnt know why lol. But then I remembered and I was like "ohhh" but hes still not talking to me. Haha oh well... he'll talk to me when I give him a present. Presents make everyone happy.

People keep viewing my blog. It makes me happy in a disturbed, weirded out, stalked and annoyed sort of way if that makes any sense. I dont like people prying in my business but it thrills me to know that other people find my gayass blog interesting. Im not going to ask how that works either. I really want to go take a nap. I think Im going to go to bed as soon as I finish typing this and after I put it on my myspace. PS: Everyone should get a myspace, theyre amazing and I heart them lottsss. I want to download Spyware Docter's full version but my mommy wont pay for it and it makes me sad.

If anyone knows of a really good spyware removel program let me know cuz I need one desperately. Ive only had my computer for 21 days and its already gayfagged. and my mom just was looking over my fucking shoulder reading my fucking lj. I hate my mom sometimes.

things are good otherwise. i love the people in my life. they make it worthwhile. i was tipsy on new years. i wish i was tipsy now. but its ok, there will be other parties to get tipsy at. other people to get tipsy on. and seriously, im better now. dont worry about it. im chill. all is good.

maggie was super good today. im kind of bored. hey, i got a new quote book. not to be completely random or anything. i have spyware on my computer and it kind of makes me sad. dude, i jump from topic to topic too quickly... i think i forgot to take my adhd pills this morning--oh yeah haha i did. wow. im a moron. but a lovable moron. if you dont love me then youre probably a piece of shit. cuz. everyone loves erin.

not to be cocky or anything.

but seriously, how can you not like me? im not always a bitch and im the best friend anyone could ever have. if you dont appreciate my humor then youre probably a dumbass and you should jump off a bridge into a pool of hungry sharks and crocodiles that wont eat each other, they'll just eat you. :) yayayayyay. jack armstrong told me some interesting news tonight that ruined my night. thanks jack, i love you too. im extremely tired, and this girl who was on my international tryouts team for the games we played just signed on. she was the reason my handoffs sucked dick. i hate that girl. she sucks at life and makes me want to cry. im not even kidding. somethings wrong. i hate hormones. they make me feel like shit. and speaking of shit, people = shit. there is nothing like the morons in this world that will do anything to feel better than you. i dont see why it has to be that way. i wasnt made to be thrown around like that. fuck no. im who i am and if anyone thinks im changing for them then theyre horribly wrong. sorry.

i need to get laid or something.

my life is driving me insane. people never shut the fuck up.

wow, my entry just got fucking deleted. i am pissed beyond belief now.

people need to learn to say what they have to say in person. if youre going to bitch at someone or say shit behind their backs, then that means that youre just a big fucking pussy and you need a bullet shot right through fucking head. i hate people like you and i hate everyone who is associated with you. :) there, i said it, i hope you fucking die. and rot in hell you piece of shit. i am sick of all of this drama. it is beginning to piss me off, especially because people go around saying shit about me for no fucking reason. its like, wow, when are you going to grow the fuck up and say it to my face?

what, are you actually scared of me and all my five feet?

youre a bigger douchebag than i thought originally. good going, asshole. now youre fucking stupid AND youre a pussy! no wonder you dont have a girlfriend. now see, this entry is targeted to two people in particular. im not gonna say who because i have more decency than that. but do consider that if either of you who im talking about fuck with me or my friends i will not hesitate to chop off your balls and hang them in my car as fuzzy dice.

thats not a threat. thats a promise. and if you dont believe me then youll just have to see how that goes, because im seriously tired of all this middle-school shit. its bad enough that girls have some shit to say about me when ive never talked to them before in my fucking life, but i really dont need your bullshit either. im glad we understand one another. but seriously? get a life. go talk about someone whos gonna cry about it. im not crying, baby, im fucking pissed because you didnt have enough nerve to say it to my face. seems like a trend nowadays...

personally, i dont think im that scary.
but whatever floats your boat.
or sinks it - i really dont give a shit.

Today I rode my darling Maggie. She was wonderful as usual. :) We didn't jump though. We jumped a lot on Tuesday and I didn't want to push it. Her shoulder-ins were really lovely. So were her leg yields. I was really pleased with how she did today. Except we didn't do extended trots. :(

I'm going to be spending New Year's at my grandmas. Wow. What the fuck. Sounds like LOADS OF FUN I CAN'T WAIT YAYYAYAYAYAY. (sarcasm)

Today someone texted me. Whoever he was, he said, "Go die you mcgriddle hating motherfucker." Well first of all, I like McGriddles. The first one I had was disgusting, I dont know what was wrong with it. I dont like the ones with ham or sausage. So take that dickweed.

I like crossword puzzles alot.

I want an iPod. But Im too poor to get one. And that makes me sad.

EDIT: Bandaging clinic is tomorrow. SHOW UP

It just occured to me that christmas is almost over. It's hard to believe that just yesterday I was learning how to ride a bike, or better yet, learn how to ride a horse. It's good times... but they're going by way too quickly for my taste. I look back and I just started talking to Josh. Or, I was talking to Wyatt last year and I was pretty much in love with him. Or Mike. I remember Mike. It was just yesterday. It's so weird how things just fly by.

I hope everyone had a good christmas - I sure did.

Just so I don't have to explain all the things I got, I got:

1. A charm bracelet
2. A copper cross
3. A Samsung Digimax A7 digital camera
4. 2 Abercrombie shirts
5. A pair of pants
6. Movie tickets
7. Bandanas
8. Riding pants
9. Riding boots for winter
10. Bell boots
11. New girth
12. Saddle
13. Leather CPR
14. 2 Head cover thingies
15. Makeup from MAC
16. Makeup brushes
17. Money
18. Got2B spa thingie
19. 1 Aeropostale shirt
20. Earrings
21. Cookies & such

I don't think I forgot anything..? If I did, oh well. I don't really care. It's funny. I wasn't really that excited about christmas this year. It was weird, though, I felt really stupid because it's like all the magic in Christmas is gone. Maybe its a part of growing up. I don't know. I didn't feel like this last year - I mean the initial excitement was there atleast. This year I'm just like... ehhhhhh... yaychristmass? I feel like Scrooge.

It's kind of upsetting.

And my eye is really dry. I don't know why. Hopefully Stacey will want to go to the mall with me tomorrow. Because I want to go to the mall tomorrow. SALES HEHEHE. ♥ I Love Sales. Oh, and Evan Ward looks like the kid from A Christmas Story- Skut Farkus/Zack Ward. Look that up.

Today we had the first games practice in like 10 years. :D I didn't do too badly considering hahaha. ;D Yeahhhhhh... I FELL OFF HAHAHAH BECAUSE PENNY WAS LIKE *drops head* AND I WENT OVER HAHAHA. Now my pinkie finger hurts :( And it hurts badly. And my head hurts too. Fucking horse... oh well, it was funny. I kind of sucked today. eh.

Tomorrow is the Pony Club Meeting. Show up if you're reading this. ;) Unless you're.. not in my pony club, giving you no reason whatsoever to show up. Wtfff haah. Marisa's a piece of shit.

Just thought I'd throw that out there. :) yay.

Yesterday, when I was out shopping, I ran into a trashcan. My depth perception is awful. And I'm really bowlegged. Katie Miller said that I waddle. I was sad. I don't waddle. I FUCKING WALK LIKE A NORMAL PERSON! :((((

.. riight?

Haha peace.

Body:
You are
[x] short, under 5'2
[ ] 5'2 -5'6"
[ ] 5'7" - 6'0
[ ] tall 6'2 and up


NATURALLY
[ ] blonde
[ ] redhead
[ ] brunette
[ ] dirty blonde/brownish
[x] dark brown/black
[ ] black



[ ] blue-eyed
[x] brown-eyed
[ ] green-eyed
[ ] hazel eyed
[ ] gold/gray-eyed
[ ] silver/gray- eyed
[ ] blue/green-eyed
[ ] blue/gray-eyed
[ ] they change colors
[ ] aqua
[ ] blue-grey eyed


[x] glasses
[x] contacts
[ ] neither


[x] short hair
[ ] medium
[ ] long hair
[ ] mohawk


Your favorite color(s) are?
[x] red
[ ] khaki
[x] pink
[x] hot pink
[ ] black
[ ] yellow
[x] green
[x] lime green
[x] blue
[ ] white
[x] turquoise
[x] silver
[ ] purple
[ ] brown
[ ] orange
[ ] grey
[x] maroon
[ ] gold
[ ] clear
[x] shiny

Some things you've done?
[x] ice skating
[x] hiking
[ ] kayaking
[x] rafting
[ ] water skiing
[x] camping
[x] horseback riding
[x] snowboarding
[x] skiing
[x] skateboarding
[x] cheerleading
[ ] lacrosse
[x] street hockey
[x] dancing
[x] gymnastics
[x] martial arts
[ ] bmx
[ ] baton twirling


Your personality is sometimes...
[x] talkative
[x] shy
[x] funny
[x] serious
[x] laid back
[x] bitchy
[x] strict
[x] hyper
[x] weird
[x] ditzy
[x] sarcastic
[x] slow
[x] add/adhd


you CAN'T stand listening to?
[ ] pop
[ ] country
[ ] christian
[ ] classical
[ ] techno
[ ] oldies
[ ] opera
[ ] reggae
[ ] emo
[ ] 80's
[ ] disco
[ ] rap
[ ] r&b



The pets you have had?
[x] dog
[ ] lizard
[ ] newts
[ ] rat
[ ] ferret
[ ] Bunny
[x] fish
[ ] duck
[x] horse
[x] bird
[ ] frog
[ ] hermit crab
[ ] prairie dog
[ ] none
[ ] turtle
[x] hamster
[ ] snake
[ ] gerbil
[ ] guinea pig
[ ] pig
[ ] goat
[ ] chinchilla
[ ] tarantula
[ ] geese
[ ] cow



Clothing Stores you like?
[x] Delia's
[x] American Eagle
[x] Hollister
[ ] The Buckle
[x] Abercrombie & Fitch
[x] Target
[x] Wal-mart
[ ] Wet Seal
[x] O'neil
[x] PacSun
[x] Aeropostale
[x] Dickies
[x] Quicksilver/ Roxy
[ ] Anchor Blue
[x] Guess
[ ] Lucky
[ ] Champs
[ ] Salvation army/goodwill
[x] old navy
[ ] tilly's
[ ] only name brand
[ ] baby phat
[ ] echo red
[ ] apple bottoms
[ ] demo
[x] tommy outlet
[ ] gotcha
[ ] Tripp
[ ] Hot Topic



Shoe Brands?
[x] Nike
[x] Adidas
[x] Reebok
[ ] Etnies
[x] Converse
[x] K Swiss
[xxxx] Steve Madden
[ ] Vans
[ ] Ipath
[x] New Balance
[ ] LEI
[ ] Payless
[x] Birkinstock
[ ] Ugg
[ ] globes
[ ] Circas
[ ] Emericas
[ ] Diesel



your confessions:
[x] I'm afraid of the quiet
[x] I am really ticklish
[ ] I'm afraid of the dark sometimes
[x] I've collected comic books
[ ] I shut others out when I'm sad
[ ] I read the news
[x] I love Disney movies
[x] I am a sucker for eyes
[ ] I don't kill bugs
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name
[x] I bake well
[x] I have worn pajamas to class
[ ] I love Martha Stewart
[ ] I am guilty of TyPiNg LiKe ThiS
[x] I am self-conscious (Only sometimes.)
[x] I love to laugh.
[x] I drink alcohol on a regular basis
[ ] I can't swallow pills
[x] I bite my nails
[ ] I want your mom
[x] I play computer games when I'm bored
[x] Gotten lost in the city
[x] Gone out in public in your pajamas
[x] Made out in an elevator
[ ] Been skydiving
[ ] Been bungee jumping
[x] Bitten someone
[x] Dressed up like a guy/girl
[x] egged a house/car
[ ] Crashed into a car
[x] Been skinny dipping


Have you ever...
[x] stolen a sign
[x] danced in the rain
[x] Seen a shooting star
[ ] proposed to anyone
[x] Gotten stitches
[x] Eaten Sushi
[x] Gotten the chicken pox
[x] Ridden in a taxi
[ ] went on a cruise ship
[ ] Looked in the mirror and started to cry
[x] Driven over 400 miles in one day
[ ] Been on a Plane by yourself
[x] had surgery
[x] seen a movie more than 3 times in the theater
[x] been on stage
[x] gotten a black eye
[x] memorized all the dialogue in a movie
[x] watched an entire baseball game on tv


Do you like...
[x] old movies
[x] musicals
[x] blasting music in your car
[ ] foreign foods
[x] holidays
[x] donuts
[x] animals
[x] coffee

Erin's Existing Situation
Volatile and outgoing. Needs to feel that events are developing along desired lines, otherwise irritation can lead to changeability or superficial activities.


Erin's Stress Sources
Wishes to be independent, unhampered, and free from any limitation or restriction, other than those which she imposes of herself or by her own choice and decision.


Erin's Restrained Characteristics
Willing to participate and to allow herself to become involved, but tries to fend off conflict and disturbance in order to reduce tension.
Remains emotionally unattached even when involved in a close relationship.

Egocentric and therefore quick to take offense. Able to achieve satisfaction through sexual activity but tends to hold aloof emotionally.




Erin's Desired Objective
Seeks the determination and elasticity of will necessary to establish herself and to make herself independent despite the difficulties of her situation. Wants to overcome opposition and achieve recognition.


Erin's Actual Problem
Strongly resists outside influence and any interference with her freedom to make her own decisions and plans. Works to establish and strengthen her own position.



TELL ME THAT THAT ISN'T TRUE GUYS.

And so... Maggie was excellent yesterday as usual. Not like, "WHOA" but it was still pretty good. :) haha... sooo yeah. I'm not sure what's going on with me & Josh anymore, because at first I was like ♥ JOSH but then he started acting like a dick so I was like, ew. nevermind. But now we're talking again and it's good. It's quite thrilling, actually, because when someone doesn't like you that much it's kind of scary. hahah. I really want some coffee. I'm getting ready to go shopping with my boo AlixKatelynnRoyston and that will be an excellent time because... yeah. Oh, does anyone else wanna beat Becca Rossi's ass, out of curiosity? Hahaha I feel like such a bitch posting this publically but she's shamelessly all over every single guy that breathes and emits the slightest amount of testosterone. And all the guys are like WOOOOOO BECCA. Actually, I'm sorry, that's a lie. A lot of the guys hate her too. AHAHAHAHAHHA.

Okay, I'm done being a horrible and mean person. I'm tired of sitting here typing this but I seem to have a lot to say this morning. My eyes are getting droopy cuz I'm fucking tired but yeah... it's okay I guess. I forgot Dave Alvarado's birthday yesterday and I felt REALLY BAD. :( But I gave him a big hug and I was like "I'm sorrrieeeeeee!" Haha. Yeah, I'm going to his hugeass birthday party... so that's why I'm going shopping - INEEDTOFINDANEWDRESS.

I might pick up some other clothes with my mom's credit card while I'm at it... hehehe.
Just kidding.
Maybe.

Omgg I'm really hungry. But I don't feel like getting off my ass and cooking something. I'm kind of craving like... eggs. bacon. delicious foods that will make me fat when I'm older. I need to make Josh cookies again. He asked me to and I said yes because I'm a nice person.

Speaking of cookies, I brought one to Mike Nichols the other day. He's hilarious as shit. Oh my god I love that kid hahahaha. And I miss Lindsay. :( I wish she would come back to Salisbury because I miss her lots and I want to go out with her. Ew, stupid, not like that... I meant like outt... you know... out and about... nevermind.

Shit haha I give up. It's time for food. My stomach is going to punch me someday.

Eh. It was really cold outside today. I only got an hour and a half of sleep last night. Don't ask me why. I don't know why I couldn't fall asleep properly, but it sucked dick. :( So I woke up at 4:30 to go shopping... go a digital camera. It's hot shit.

Yeah.

I made cookies this morning...

That's pretty much all I have to say. I'll write more later after dinner and I'm too fat to function. ♥ Haha.

Good times..